draining

so i'm supposed to meet a friend at the bar later this evening. so i think, well, i should actually get something in my stomach for the whiskey to land on. drinking whiskey on an empty stomach is a guaranteed morning dry-heave session for me. so, i create this roughly 520-calorie grilled pizza sandwich thingie ... the most i've eaten in one meal in two weeks. it was good; i ain't gonna lie. and i made sure not to finish the thing. but the moment i threw it in the garbage, my mind just starts racing about all the work i've put in and all the restricting i've done and the hour of walking today, wasted. so, to the bathroom. bye-bye! honestly i felt better once i got it out of me. the thought of that much food ... ugh.

i was pmsing hard-core today, and for god knows what reason started my period two days early. i have started my period on sunday nights every month since i was 16 years old. so now i'm annoyed with that. i am grumpy as hell and completely drained. but i'm supposed to socialize tonight. i can't not go. i used to be a barfly but have only been there ONCE for ONE whiskey in the past two weeks. i miss it, i do. i miss my "friends" there and i miss watching the giants (baseball) games while sipping down a whiskey ginger or three. but, for obvious reasons, the every-other-day visits to the bar had to stop. it's a weird lifestyle change, and it's hard to adjust.

but yes, i WANT to go tonight because my friend promised to bring me a norco or two (he broke his ankle last month). that should help with the grumpiness and cramps this weekend :) also, the walk down there and home would be another 25 minutes of walking AND for good measure, i'll play a few games of ping-pong (it's a very competitive sport at the bar and since last summer i've become one of the players to beat :)

wow, i thought i was gonna keep this short when i started. oh well.

stay strong, friends. and thank you for not only your direct support, but the inspiration i get every day from reading your blogs. <3