my return

Obviously I fell off the wagon pretty quickly. I don't really have any excuse for it ... just laziness, depression, laziness, loneliness, laziness, endless boredom. I'm going to leave that all behind and start from scratch here.
It all (re-)started just before the new year. I got sick; probably not the flu but definitely worse than your average cold. I was basically laid up in bed for seven days. I was just trying to sleep, sleep, sleep the sickness away, so I didn't get out of bed much, which means I didn't go to the kitchen much. Once it was (mostly) gone, I realized, "Shit, I had to have lost at least five pounds this week." Next thought: "Well you did promise yourself you'd lose weight for your little brother's wedding this summer. Roll with it." And finally -- "Let's do this."

So, I've basically been restricting for a few weeks, but this week I decided to make it for real. I started the ABC diet on Sunday and it's fine so far (although I read it will be hell soon enough). Been able to stay within my limits; in fact, today was 400 and it was actually difficult to eat that much. I could've easily done 200-300. Tomorrow, though, I'm worried. It's supposed to be a 100 day but I have a blind date who is taking me out to lunch. I already told him I'm only going to eat a salad, that normally I don't eat that early in the day so I'm not hungry blahblahblah. Who knows how many calories my salad will have, but at least it's just a salad. 

Work has been tough tonight. Not like the actual WORK part of work, but there have been too many temptations in my 10-hour workday. Everyone here knows how much I love candy and chocolate and cookies and the like ... first, I was given a bag full of probably 10 Hershey's Kisses and a handful of York peppermint pieces. That bag was like burning a hole in my hand. So to stamp it out, I did some calculations and let myself have five of the peppermint pieces. And boy were they amazing. But I still had the rest of the bag. I told myself, "You don't have to have them now, but you should save them, just in case ... " Definitely a battle with myself but finally put my foot down and thought, "Just in case WHAT? You'll never need these." Boom, put them in the employee cabinet.

Second temptation of the night: Another co-worker hands me a Big Kat bar, which instantly made me drool. I stared at it for a minute, looked at that calorie count (280), broke off about 1/10th of the bar and handed the rest off to another co-worker. I told him "FINISH THAT RIGHT NOW."

Third (slightly less tempting) temptation: Yet another co-worker hands me four Nutter Butters. I don't particularly like those cookies anyway, but still. Gave those away too.

They mean well, they do. They just don't know what I'm doing right now. And you know what? I am really proud of how strong I stayed through multiple challenges in one night. Four weeks ago, I would've swallowed WHOLE that candy. No doubt, candy is my lifelong weakness.