Thursday, April 4, 2013

first bite

Well, fuck. I messed up today. I had half a chocolate chip cookie early in the night, so in an attempt to make up for it, I only ate about half of my breakfast sandwich (let's round up to make that like 120 cals instead of 210). Great work, right? Then, my favorite co-worker gave me a giant peanut butter cup cookie. Fuck. Honestly, I didn't even TRY to resist. I just did it, without thinking. I ate about 1/3 of that giant cookie. THEN of course suddenly my sweet tooth is like, "YES, THAT. MORE!" So I had six Robin Eggs and five peanut M&Ms. I wanted more, way more, but I fought the voice that said, "Well, you've fucked up now. Just keep going." Fuck that voice.

So with these cookies it's hard to calculate calories, but doing some calorie counting tells me that those cookie portions and chocolate candies put me up a whopping 380 calories over my 450 limit. Jesus Christ. I need to remember: If I have one bite of a treat, I will want more. I will somehow need more. But if I don't take that first bite, I feel that moment of triumph and can hold on to that.

I want to continue SGD, so I'm going to do what I did the other day when I messed up: adjust the following day. I don't know how important it is to strictly follow the calorie limits of each day. I mean, what if I want to fast in the middle of SGD? It seems like that should be acceptable. As long as you are keeping calorie counts low and alternating your allowance for each day to trick your body ...

Anyway, tomorrow is my first day off after a loooooong workweek. I plan on drinking. I have already calculated that if I have three cocktails and three shots, I'll probably be looking at 350 calories. I'm allowed 650 for tomorrow ... I won't be eating before going to the bar ... I will try not to eat at all tomorrow, but I figured it'd be best to save any possible calories until AFTER I drink (when I'll want to eat everything on the planet).

Oh, weigh-in was 142.2 -- down another 1.1 from yesterday. I won't be able to weigh myself again until Sunday, which might be a good thing. I'm hoping to see some encouraging results ... as long as I have a strong weekend.

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