still pushing

Haven't posted in a while but it doesn't mean I've fallen off track. I haven't really been excelling either, though. I've been eating way too much on my weekends, but always fast right after, which really makes a huge difference. The other day I did have some garbage calories at work, but did my best to purge it away.

Right now I'm still sitting comfortably at 141. But that was from weighing myself in the morning, which was the end of a fast day. We all know that's a hard number to trust. I felt really good though, light and happy with my strength.

Today I ate a Luna bar (190) and this yummy organic pizza (524), putting me at 704 so far today. I'm going to try to stay there through the workday, as I feel like it's a good follow-up to the 395 from last night. I may have another Luna bar though. I fucking love those things; they're like dessert (and I have to be honest with myself that I can't just live without treats altogether). If I have that bar, though, I'll be at almost 900 cals for the day. Too much.

I'm trying to stay good this week because I'm going to visit my parents on Friday and we're going to a baseball game on Saturday. I can't NOT have anything at the ballgame, not just because my parents would be concerned, but because, come on, it's a baseball game. Last time I went, I had this amazing crab-sourdough sandwich that blew my mind. I will definitely have that again. I'll also be taking in a couple flasks of whiskey. Aaaaand I'm sure we'll have breakfast before we drive down there (three-hour drive) AND definitely dinner on Friday night. So I'll be having three or four meals in a row ... yikes. But from Thursday night to Friday dinner with the parents, I can fast. And then I'll fast when I get back on Sunday. So my food-heavy weekend will at least be surrounded by fasting. Ugh, though, I have to remember to at least make mostly careful choices (other than the crab sandwich) if I'm going to be eating all weekend.

Anyway, I'm gonna stay strong the rest of the day. I really fucking hope no one brings any treats to work today. They drive me fucking crazy.