pressure

Just got off work. I managed to avoid lunch for the most part. I did have a diet soda and a handful of grapes.  But lord, just entering my apartment, I instantly think, "What can I eat?" I thought about having some shelled peanuts ... those are so fatty (although it's "good" fat) and calorie-heavy ... and messy. I'm proud to say I rejected that idea pretty quickly. Then I thought of my last Luna bar in the cupboard ... but that's like a "meal" for me and I don't need to eat 190 calories before I go to bed. Then I thought about the low-calorie frozen pizzas I have in the fridge, but they are microwave-only and I don't have a microwave. I'm realizing that those were a really smart purchase; I can ONLY have them for lunch at work. I have no way to eat them at home.

And that basically exhausted my options. I have some low-cal deli ham and sandwich thins, but that shit adds up quickly too. Plus, I already had a REAL sandwich today. I'm not really in the mood for a folded piece of bread and a few slices of ham.

The moral of the story is that I grabbed a 50-calorie rice cake. Yeah, yeah, I said I was done for the day ... but considering my stomach was pushing me really hard to give it something, I think my mind put up a damn good fight. No binge here.

I weighed in near the end of my shift (10 hours post-sandwich) and came up at 149.9. That's up 1.4 from yesterday but I'm gonna blame the bloat that came with my period tonight. I need to keep reminding myself that that's a very real weight-altering change ... no need to beat myself up until I see where I actually am when it's over. Of course I'll still be weighing myself at work the next two days, but whatever. I'll try to keep calm about the numbers.

I need to get myself to sleep before my stomach gets any more powerful.